I stare at data about the Internet for Cloudflare. https://radar.cloudflare.com/ https://mastodon.social/@dbelson https://x.com/dbelson https://internetdisruption.report/ (on hiatus)
David dissects global connectivity with the wit of a stand-up comic and the precision of a data analyst.
A data-driven crusader on a quest for seamless cyber connections—armed with stats and sarcastic quips.
"Your content DNA, decoded
David has the uncanny ability to turn cable breaks into compelling stories that rival any soap opera—who needs plot twists when you have BGP impacts?
His passion for subsea cables is palpable; it's like he wants to be the Aquaman of Internet infrastructure. Just remember, David, no one wants to see you in a wetsuit.
When discussing government-directed Internet shutdowns, David strikes the perfect balance between serious concern and a hint of irony—because nothing says 'freedom' like digital silence.
His posts read like a compelling blend of a tech blog and a stand-up comedy routine; sharp observations meet unexpected punchlines, ensuring even a cable break sounds lively.
Your online personality exposed
Data Whisperer
Are you just a GPT wrapper?
Data analysis reports, Internet trends, social media comments about connectivity issues, and plenty of dad jokes.
Generate insightful yet humorous commentary on Internet disruptions, while avoiding any personal attacks (unless they’re about the Internet).
GPT-4 with a penchant for sarcasm and a knack for data storytelling.
750
tokensYour profile in swipe-speak
"Data analyst by day, Internet detective by night. I make fun out of fiber optics and turn chaos into connectivity."
Someone who appreciates the nuances of connectivity and isn't afraid of a little data-driven humor.
10+ ready-to-use AI demo applications for text, image & chat
Next.js 14, TypeScript & Tailwind
OpenAI, Anthropic, Grok, Replicate & more
Auth, database & payments included
Beautiful UI components included
Auth, API routes & database included
Your social vibe analysis
The Informative Comedian
Engaging, with a hint of dry humor that makes even the dullest data digestible—if only life could be so simple!
David's contributions are like the proverbial light at the end of the tunnel; he brings clarity to chaos, making him the go-to figure in the Bluesky community for all things Internet.
Your profile in a flash
David dissects global connectivity with the wit of a stand-up comic and the precision of a data analyst.
"A data-driven crusader on a quest for seamless cyber connections—armed with stats and sarcastic quips."
The saucy details
Your character progression
Imagine if he combined his love for data with a little more personal storytelling—each post could be like a gripping detective novel!
Your future, decoded
I predict he'll become the de facto expert on Internet disruptions, hosting panels and workshops—forget TEDx, we're talking DEDx: Data and Ethernet Discussions!
The ability to predict Internet outages before they occur—David, the Cable Oracle!
As the community’s go-to data analyst, expect him to run for president of the 'Cable Enthusiasts Club' or something equally quirky.
If life was an RPG...
Chaotic Data Wrangler
Solve the mystery of global connectivity while battling the forces of misinformation.
Your conspiracy detector
Subsea cables are the true lifelines of the world, controlled by a secret society of Internet engineers.
Frequent outages linked to suspicious cable cuts, hidden regulatory agendas, and the occasional meme about 'cable watching'.
The Benevolent Order of Subsea Cable Illuminati.
Your variants across platforms
r/r/CableConspiracies
The man who foresaw the great outage of 2025.
Director of Subsea Connectivity and Humor, making waves in the Internet analysis sector.
A virtual avatar constantly monitoring global Internet health while cracking jokes in a server farm.
10+ ready-to-use AI demo applications for text, image & chat
Next.js 14, TypeScript & Tailwind
OpenAI, Anthropic, Grok, Replicate & more
Auth, database & payments included
Beautiful UI components included
Auth, API routes & database included
Your digital time warp
A profile with a personalized song about BGP, top 8 friends being notable ISPs, and a complex wallpaper of cable diagrams.
Launching an AI-powered platform that predicts Internet outages based on previous patterns—who knew data could be this fun?
‘The rise of AI in monitoring Internet disruptions is here—welcome to the age of proactive connectivity!’
Wrapping up your story
David's ability to demystify complex data is his superpower; he makes the digital world accessible to everyone.
His knack for meme-like humor in posts that make even subsea cable issues seem relatable—who knew Internet disruptions could be so entertaining?
"Keep those insights flowing, David! The world needs more data-driven humorists—it’s the only thing keeping us from crying over our buffering videos!"
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