David Kurtz /+Go-Faster/ Consultancy

@go-faster.co.uk

Followers

Posts

239

Following

Packs

Joined

Nov 14, 2024

Roasted

Dec 2, 2024

Oracle Database Performance Specialist. People Performance Specialist. Independent Consultant. Oracle ACE Director. OakTable. Cyclist. Cat herder

David Kurtz: The Go-Faster Guy Who's Not Afraid to Talk Data

David blends database performance insights with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of cycling love.

Like a cat herding a group of SQL queries, David is both chaotic and enlightening.

85%

Authenticity

70%

Thought Leader

Key Topics

90%

Database Performance

80%

Oracle Consulting

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What's On Your Mind? 🤔

Your content DNA, decoded

Your Top Topics

Database Performance90%

David's posts read like a David Foster Wallace novel, if Wallace were obsessed with SQL queries instead of infinite jest.

Oracle Consulting80%

With all the Oracle content, I half-expect to find a post titled 'The Oracle of Delphi: A Modern Consulting Twist.'

PeopleSoft75%

He discusses PeopleSoft like a devoted parent talks about their children's antics—endlessly engaged and a little perplexed.

Writing Style

David's writing comes off like a performance evaluation: informative, slightly dry, but with that occasional glimmer of personality that makes you smile—like a well-executed query that actually returns results.

Thought Leader Score

70%

The Real You™ 🎭

Your online personality exposed

Your Vibe

The Data Whisperer

Keeping It Real Score

85%

Main Character Energy

Database Performance Specialist
Cycling Enthusiast
Cat Herders Anonymous President

Secret Powers

✨Expert in turning complex SQL into plain English
✨Professional cat herder (seriously, check his resume)

If you were an AI...🤖

Are you just a GPT wrapper?

Training Data

SQL performance metrics, cycling tips, cat behavior patterns, technical jargon.

Prompt Engineering

Create engaging content that combines database expertise with humor and relatable anecdotes.

Model Behavior

Technical Guru behaving like a well-crafted algorithm: precise, knowledgeable, but occasionally in dire need of a personality injection.

Token Count

524

tokens

Dating App Edition💝

Your profile in swipe-speak

Bio

"Oracle Database Performance Specialist, cycling enthusiast, and proud cat herder. Looking for someone to share both number crunching and weekend adventures. Let’s make performance tuning our love language!"

Red Flags

🚩Too serious about database performance at times.
🚩Can talk about SQL for hours—bring a pillow!
🚩Might accidentally code instead of cuddle.

Green Flags

✅Knows how to balance work and play.
✅Enjoys cycling and outdoor activities.
✅Good at problem-solving (and yes, I mean relational databases).

Perfect Match

Someone who appreciates both the chaos of cats and the beauty of a well-structured query.

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Full Infrastructure
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Squad Check🌟

Your social vibe analysis

Role in Community

The Go-To Guy for Performance Insights

Conversation Style

Engaging but technical; it's like chatting with a wizard who speaks in SQL, and you're just trying to keep up.

Impact Assessment

David is the reassuring presence in a sea of technical jargon, like a lighthouse guiding lost queries to shore.

TL;DR Version⚡

Your profile in a flash

David Kurtz: The Go-Faster Guy Who's Not Afraid to Talk Data

David blends database performance insights with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of cycling love.

Vibe Check

"Like a cat herding a group of SQL queries, David is both chaotic and enlightening."

Spice Level Check🌶️

The saucy details

Gentle Roasts

🔥Watching David explain database performance is like watching a TED Talk about watching paint dry—educational, but where’s the drama?
🔥Every time David posts a SQL blog, a cat somewhere is plotting its revenge against him for the hours lost reading it.

Quirky Challenges

😅Needs to remember that while performance tuning is vital, so is a little self-promotion—maybe sprinkle in some cat memes next time?
😅Creating engagement shouldn't feel like trying to get a cat to take a bath; a little finesse goes a long way.

Main Character Moments

✨When he passionately defends SQL queries, it feels like he's the lead in a rom-com, but with tables instead of people.

Level Up Zone📈

Your character progression

Hidden Potential

David could elevate his game by mixing in some light-hearted posts about his cycling adventures—because who wouldn't want tips on database performance while going downhill on a mountain bike?

Unique Advantages

💎Deep knowledge of Oracle products
💎Natural knack for engaging technical audiences

Level Up Suggestions

🚀Try humor! Maybe 'Cycling While SQL-ing: Don't Run Out of Breath (or CPU)' would catch some eyes.
🚀Share more personal anecdotes; I want to know what it's like to be a cat herder and a database guru at the same time!

Crystal Ball Time🔮

Your future, decoded

Next Evolution

David becomes the unofficial ambassador of SQL comedy, where he crafts performance tips like a stand-up routine, making learning entertaining.

Potential Superpower

The ability to turn complex data problems into viral cat memes that even your grandma would understand.

Future Community Role

He will be the bridge connecting tech savants with casual users, making even the most complex SQL query feel like a friendly chat.

Your Character Build🎮

If life was an RPG...

Class

Lawful Data Guru

Special Abilities

⚔️SQL Sorcery
⚔️Cycling Insights
⚔️Cat Herding Mastery

Weaknesses

💀Unyielding Database Jargon
💀Occasional Over-Technicalism
💀Fear of Viral Memes

Quest Line

To balance the duality of database optimization and the whimsical joys of cat herding while pedaling through life at high speed.

Down the Rabbit Hole🕵️‍♂️

Your conspiracy detector

Main Theory

Cats are secretly monitoring our data usage to prepare for their eventual takeover of the digital world.

Evidence Board

Data shows that cat-related memes have spiked exponentially in recent years. Cats are always on the digital grind, possibly recruiting SQL experts for their covert operations.

Secret Society

The Order of the Feline Coders.

Truth Seeking Level

75%

Multiverse You🌌

Your variants across platforms

Reddit Moderator Of

r/r/SQLPerformanceNerds—where every query runs like a dream, and cat memes dominate the front page.

Twitter Main Character

David accidentally starts a feud with a rival database expert over the best query optimization techniques, leading to an all-out SQL war.

LinkedIn Title

CEO of Cat Performance Consulting, specialized in lowering meow time by 90%.

Metaverse Final Form

In the metaverse, David is known as ‘The SQL Cyclist’, a virtual hero teaching others how to code while riding through data streams.

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This roast generator is built with AnotherWrapper. Get access to 10+ AI templates and launch your startup quickly.

🎯
AI Demo Apps
10+ ready-to-use AI demo applications for text, image & chat
⚡
Modern Stack
Next.js 14, TypeScript & Tailwind
🤖
AI integrations
OpenAI, Anthropic, Grok, Replicate & more
🛠️
Full Infrastructure
Auth, database & payments included
💎
Premium Design
Beautiful UI components included
🛡️
Enterprise Ready
Auth, API routes & database included

Time Machine⏰

Your digital time warp

Web 1.0 Profile

> A GeoCities page with bright colors and blinking text explaining how to optimize SQL queries while sharing his love for cycling and cats.

MySpace Era

A MySpace profile decorated with cycling photos, cat stickers, and a custom playlist titled ‘SQL Tunes for Performance Tuning’.

Web3 Destiny

Launching an NFT project: ‘CryptoCats: The Furry Future of Database Management’ that offers exclusive database performance tips.

Future Post

In 2025, David posts: ‘Just upgraded my SQL skills while training for the Tour de France. Who knew database performance and cycling could coexist so beautifully?’

The Final Take🎬

Wrapping up your story

Key Strength

David's impressive knowledge transforms complex topics into digestible content.

Charming Quirk

He treats database performance issues with the same urgency as a cyclist dodging potholes on a rainy day.

Final Encouragement

"Keep pedaling, David! The digital landscape is a winding road, but with your expertise, you're always in the fast lane."

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