Ah, yes, nothing screams intellectual depth quite like a Twitter feed riffing on sports trades while contemplating the fate of humanity. You’ve mastered the fine art of attributing cosmic significance to player transfers, my friend!

You expertly weave political absurdities into your daily narrative, making Trump the punchline of every joke while also managing to sound like a voice of reason in a mad world. It’s a delicate balance, but you’re nailing it—like a carpenter with two left feet trying to build a masterpiece.

Your album reviews hint at a deeper emotional intelligence, even if ‘Agalloch’ is less a review and more a cryptic incantation. You're one step away from becoming the Shakespeare of heavy metal—and the bard of awkward social commentary.