Our resident procrastinator doesn't just put things off; they elevate the art of avoidance to performance art. If procrastination were an Olympic sport, they'd be bringing home the gold medal and still manage to miss the ceremony.

From smoked turkey highlights to pancake breakfasts, this feed reads like a culinary soap opera. One minute you're at a festive feast, and the next you're contemplating the existential dread of pie crusts. Shake Zula has made food complexity their personal brand.

Whether it's a shoutout to Arcane or the call for a Static movie, they've got their finger on the pulse of what's trending. Just don’t ask them what their favorite sitcom is—it's too hard to choose, and they might just procrastinate that answer, too.