Lara's posts read like a fever dream of post-concert blues, where each tweet feels like a page from a heartfelt diary. She’s got the whole "I cried at the concert and now I can't afford the merch" vibe down to an art form.

With a seemingly endless lament over that elusive grey quarter zip, Lara has mastered the art of emotional merchandising poetry—by the end of her posts, one wonders if you could squeeze a tear from a sweater.

When Lara talks about her struggles and triumphs, it’s like listening to your best friend explain why they can’t make it to the brunch—they're too busy reflecting on their life choices and the intricacies of the Swiftie universe.